The Long Slow Death of the Undead American Dream

Everyone thought it’d be different.

Nightmares painted in gore. Cities burning. Survival-of-the-fittest porn on every channel. But when the world ends, it’s not a shotgun symphony; it’s a whimper. Turns out, zombies are just as disappointing dead as they were alive. They stagger. Moan. Get winded going up stairs. Their knees pop like bubble wrap when they stand. It's a slower-than-cable-internet apocalypse.

Six months since patient zero in a Walmart bathroom in Tulsa. Six months of the world's most disappointing apocalypse.